A top NRM party boss from Eastern Uganda suffered a mother of humiliations after his bodyguards defied him over a covid-19 maneuver that he pulled in a desperate move to impress his boss President Museveni. Our Field Inspectors ably identified the official as a powerful minister from the far eastern part of Uganda. However, so as not to deflate his ego, we shall refer to him as Jaboo in this story.
Briefs from our field inspectors indicate that minister Jaboo’s woes started when he received news of the death of one of his senior paternal relatives.
It is now a habit that ever since he won an MP seat and got appointed as minister, Jaboo requested that his guard fleet be increased so as to suit his newfound clout as both minister, MP and VIP in the NRM Party— after all more success comes with more enemies and frenemies.
Indeed, sources say his prayers were granted as today he moves with a convoy of three patrol cars full of bodyguards and escorts while going to his village.
It is said that recently he took this convoy for his relative’s funeral, causing untold excitement as everyone wanted to get a glimpse of the new big man in the town.
However, showy as he is, Jaboo shocked all and sundry when upon alighting his official car, he ordered his bodyguards to push back the excited locals that tried to make contact with him. While this was a smart move since it protects him from contracting the deadly Covid-19, he ‘took the handshake beyond the elbow’ when he quickly ordered the escorts to arrest everybody who dared show up at the funeral without a face mask.
“My boss, the president Gen. Museveni, ordered that we enforce his Covid-19 guidelines so I cannot just look on when people are violating them. In fact, arrest every single person who steps here without a face mask. We shall hand them over to the police,” Jaboo said as he demarcated an open space to be used as a ‘jail’ or holding place for the arrested.
Soldiers are born to follow orders, so the minister’s orders they followed. As soon as Jaboo issued the orders, he proceeded to his tent with his PA. It then shortly began drizzling, which made his ‘open jail’ area muddy. However, the obedient escorts went ahead to implement their boss’s order and within minutes, the jail was full of tens of detainees who were evidence of how people these days disregard Covid-19 SOPs.
As the drizzle intensified, the arrested locals began pleading for pardon. Drama however soon ensued as most of the escorts could not understand the Luo language of the pleaders since they looked to be majorly from western Uganda. Out of desperation, some of the villagers resorted to some lines of broken English but the soldiers became unrelenting, reminding them that they had been ‘jailed’ on the orders of their own MP.
MINISTER’S AUNT FALLS VICTIM
Many people believe karma is a lady! This belief came true for the ministers since after about thirty minutes of his order, an elderly woman arrived at the funeral. She was all rushing to the tents to escape the raging rain. However, she was soon stopped by the furious escorts who told her to join the others that were squatting in the rain for not wearing their masks.
Confident that this was the funeral of her brother, the woman cockily told the soldiers to leave her alone if they wanted peace. She even threatened to tell her son the minister but her pleas were met with harder resistance. Realizing that the soldiers were not ‘her son’, she broke her hard wings and grumblingly joined the detainees.
The old woman’s misfortune soon drew mixed reactions, with some of the onlooking villagers sympathizing with her, however, others scorned her, telling her that karma was visiting her braggart son for punishing the very people who voted him.
“We know the people are in the wrong but he would have ordered that those without masks be turned away instead of being embarrassed by making them squat in the rain. What if they now pick worse diseases? You now suffer for having a heartless son,” one of the mourners remarked.
To save the old woman from further torment, a relative who saw the old woman rushed to save her. However, the relative was rebuked by the no-nonsense escorts who reminded him that they also did not wish to be standing in the rain but were implementing their boss’s orders. The relative then rushed to Jaboo, who got shocked and then sent his PA to quickly come and rescue his old woman.
The minister however got embarrassed when the escorts became stubborn and refused to release the woman. “Go and tell him that now we’re implementing presidential directives, not his,” one of the escorts told the PA. However, as he went back to give this report, another one called the PA and told him, “Go and tell him to come and take the old woman himself because we’re holding her on his orders.” The PA went and relayed the message, forcing Jaboo to rush to his ‘open jail’.
He however found a hard time rescuing only his aunt. He was thus forced to order the release of all Covid-19 SOPs flouters that he had detained. That’s how his plan miserably flopped!
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