By Field Inspectors
The year 2023 is now behind us. In his end of year address to the nation, H.E Yoweri Museveni urged Ugandans to fight corruption but most importantly, urged the public to isolate all those public officials who siphone public resources and those who are non performers. His suggestion has been welcomed by the public with many of them saying such people should not be allowed to address public gatherings. In light of what he said, our Inspectors have compiled a list of top five ministers whose intestines must have convulsed when the head of state talked about corruption. In this expose, we bring you the list of top cabinet ministers whose performance attracted public concern in the ending year. The ministers have also been ‘decorated’ with Lord’s Resistance Army ranks depending on their degree of involvement in ‘national mismanagement’.
READ ON!
‘Lieutnant General’ Gorreti Kitutu
Currently, there’s an audio doing rounds on major platforms purported to be that of our dear minister for Karamoja affairs Dr. Maria Gorreti Kitutu.
The embattled ‘mabaati princess’ who is also the woman MP for Manafwa district, in the said audio is nursing a broken heart after it emerged that the appointing authority has turned a blind eye on her letter.
Apparently, the Minister who is currently embroiled in the muddy waters of ‘stolen’ iron sheets, recently penned a letter to president Museveni accusing some individuals of what she calls witch-hunt.
The audio aired in Lumasaaba, also wonders why it’s only her name that pops up every time the word ‘iron sheets’ is mentioned.
“Those who ate the money are there and no body touched them yet for me, I am in court defending myself. I have never gone to their stores and their iron sheets; I have never touched them” the ‘minister’ in the said audio says in her local language.
According to the audio, Kitutu says there was a directive that the remaining iron sheets in the store be given out. She however, says she never participated in this exercise but it was the premier Robinah Nabbanja.
“As you all saw, it was the prime minister who flagged off. The 11000 iron sheets, I have never seen them. Before they started, they first subtracted the iron sheets alleged to have been stolen by ministers. These thieves should be hunted down and be arrested” she said in what seems to be a fresh can of worms regarding a fresh probe into another 11000 iron sheets which are missing.
The audio is directed to her fellow Bagisu and seems to suggest the minister is under another threat of interrogation.
“You (my people) should know that they are looking for me for nothing. But I am asking, why not arrest these people? My people, you should know that this is now just witch-hunt. They are witch-hunting me and for that matter, I decided to write to H.E the president but I haven’t received a reply” the said audio says.
The minister suggests that there are many people of her tribe who are losing their jobs under similar circumstances.
“There are so many issues I wanted to tell you Bamasaaba that many of our children have been dismissed without any grounds” she says.
The minister says as the world prepared for the festive season, she too prepared for the same but unfortunately, she received unfriendly visitors who wanted to net her over the 11000 iron sheets which are said to be missing.
“As things stand, I don’t think I am going to enjoy my Christmas or New year holidays well because of those looking for me. Witch-hunting me. How can you (cops) come to my home on a Friday evening? I tell you there are many Bagisu who have been chased but are just keeping quiet” she said. Although we couldn’t authoritatively confirm whether she’s the one or not in this audio, those close to her suggest she’s the one but trying to put ‘things’ right as her detractors seem to be determined to pursue her unfairly. Well, as we wait for a response from Gen. Museveni on this, honorable Kitutu is currently in court facing charges related to stolen iron sheets. She was the first to be arrested and spent a full week in prison where she said she was tortured and lost part of her valuables. As the one supervising the Karamoja ministry from where sheets were stolen, Kitutu earns herself a rank of Lt. General given her alleged role in the saga!
‘Colonel’ Matia Kasaija
The Finance minister did wonders to His Excellency when he invented a new vocabulary of ‘walking iron sheets’! When he found iron sheets in his compound labeled ‘Not for Sale’, he smiled all the way thinking the biblical manna had fallen at his home. He never asked how the sheets found their way into his compound, not even how they passed his perimeter wall and the gate.
Of course, Museveni and his boys couldn’t buy into his sarcastic explanation that ‘I found the sheets in my compound’ and his arrest was immediately sanctioned.
Indeed, cops went as far as his home in Kibaale only to find he wasn’t there and all his phones were allegedly off. When the situation became tough with Museveni having issued a letter branding the ministers who stole the iron sheets as ‘economic terrorists’, a panicky Kasaija a.k.a Mr. Enconome rushed before the media and paraded a heep of 50k notes saying he wanted to pay for the mabaati. He really looked every inch a disgusted man but damage had already been done on him and his reputation as a senior citizen. Given the level of embarrassment he occasioned on himself and the appointing authority, the senior minister earns himself a rank of a full ‘Colonel’
‘Leiutinant Colonel’ Amos Lugoloobi
At the time of his arrest over the iron sheets, he was planning an introduction for one of his daughters. Business wise, he was making final touches on his alleged multi-billion building in Kabuusu. For this one, our military experts suggest that if Lugoloobi was to be decorated for his ‘contribution’ he made towards national shame and the suffering of Karamojongs, he would be awarded a rank of Lt. Col. This is because whereas he’s an experienced politician and leader he failed to command his fingers not to touch what didn’t belong to him. He ended up taking iron sheets and used them to roof his goat shade. When he was nabbed, he chose to de-roof the shade in an exact show of immaturity in thieving matters. He ends the year 2023 battling theft cases courtesy of iron sheets.
‘Major General’ Agnes Nandutu
Apparently, something started boiling in her Karamoja ministry where her seniors were allegedly sharing iron sheets. Nandutu chose to alert premier Robinah Nabbanja in what seemed to be a whistle blowing move if not conspiracy against her senior colleague Gorreti Kitutu.
Nabbanja got this brief and secretly contacted Maj. Tom Magambo, the CID director. The blue-eyed boy from Luweero, also didn’t sit but rang CiC Museveni about this great but unpatriotic news. Magambo also sought to get guidance from Jjajja Museveni on how to proceed since the matter involved his own senior minister(s).
Museveni was happy to hear this news and asked Magambo to work with State House Anti Corruption team and ISO to investigate the issue. Henceforth, they hit the road and found Kitutu’s brother allegedly selling sheets to buy ‘booze’ for himself. That’s how evidence was collected. However, it’s not clear how Nandutu also got the appetite to run away with over 2000 iron sheets yet she’s alleged to have been the one who disclosed the theft. She was finally netted after days of hiding and she faces the worst dose of the case compared to her colleagues since she was found in possession of the largest number of stolen iron sheets. According to military experts, if Nandutu was an LRA operative, she would be on a rank of a Major General since she was the 2iC at the ministry.
‘Captain’ Hajat Minsa Kabanda
The minister for Kampala has brought president Museveni a bad name in the city after failing to reign on KCCA leaders to fix the bad roads in the city. So bad the situation is that, the head of state had to deploy his son and SFC to come save the situation as the leaders there keep warming their seats. The roads not only affected ordinary Ugandans but also fellow ministers like Rebecca Kadaga and Margaret Muhanga who went to soso media blasting the same situation. We are told Museveni was so disgusted with the team at KCCA that he asked his son to reach out to former KCCA boss Jennifer Musisi if she was still interested in working in Kampala but she allegedly turned the offer down. As things stand, Kabanda is said to be among a team of ministers with sleepless nights fearing for a change of mind by Museveni.
With the pothole exhibition that Ugandans showcased on soso media, there is no doubt Kampala gave Museveni the worst publicity ever nationally and internationally. Our resident military expert decorated the Kampala minister with a honors degree in public infrastructure mismanagement and bags herself a rank of Captain.
