A female Member of Parliament from northern Uganda is still the subject on the lips of her female colleagues after she allegedly managed to serve food to four of her (hungry) male colleagues in one night.
This was during a field trip undertaken by legislators to the Albertine region where oil exploration activities are ongoing.
The legislators travelled by bus and when they reached Murchison, they elected to spend a night at that most expensive hotel around Murchison.
As the bus started the journey, inspectors said one of the female legislators (opposition) kept shouting on top of her voice that ‘the day has come. The day has come!’
Others chorused ‘yeeeessssss’ as the male colleagues also started salivating upon hearing of such promising sweet melodies in their ears!
They travelled and travelled until they reached the hotel.
Unfortunately, one of the ladies remarked thus ‘but the number of men is slightly higher than ours! We’re short by three members’
At this juncture, male legislators according to Inspectors started discussing among themselves on who was to eat whose food basing on appetite!
Interestingly, there was a slightly aged lady MP from the north but whose ass-ets appear in plural form just like those of Straka (if you still remember her)!
Time reached and the members checked into the hotel. However, majority of the male predators were said to be eyeing one of the sexy politicians from Eastern Region particularly Bugisu!
“All members asked for her room digits” an inspector narrated.
Upon seeing that all eyes were on her, the politician tricked her intended predators by giving them a fake room service number which belonged to another female politician on the same floor! This politician is from Ankole region. The Bugisu lady besides faking her room contacts, went ahead and removed the hand receiver and placed it aside so as to disconnect it just in case!
“Ring ring, ring ring, ring ring” member after another called the given (fake number)!
“Honorable, can I come for food? I am badly off. Very hungry indeed” a male member said after another.
“But honorable, you’re calling honorable (names withheld) from Ankole. I am not honorable (from Bugisu)” she answered but callers kept calling.
Feeling betrayed, the hungry predators decided to mobilize themselves and storm the streets to hunt for prey targeting those vendors who roast maize around this hotel.
Unfortunately, reaching the streets, the preys allegedly looked soooo annoying as if they had just been rescued from the jungles of Garamba forest from the LRA rebels!
“But members, were stooping so low. Let’s leave these and go back and relaunch a fresh assault. We can’t fail to eat any of those Members’ food. Let’s go back” they elected and off, they returned to the hotel.
One of them immediately rang the digits of the relatively ageing female politician from the north who gladly welcomed him to her room for a sumptuous dinner!
Immediately, the male politician pulled out his fork and placed it into the dish which according to Inspectors was full of gravy. After eating for about 30 minutes, he left the room fully satisfied like a frog which had just swallowed a rat!
Interestingly, upon reaching his room, he alerted one of his colleagues about the generosity that was taking place on 3rd floor.
Ring, ring, another member calls!
“Yes honorable how can I help you?” She answered to which the member on the other end responded saying ‘I am extremely hungry. I need to eat something please. The pain is unbearable’
Within minutes, the member also stormed the same room and got served.
One of them according to Inspectors had an oil rig which was too tiny to scoop oil properly from the endowed wells. This angered the server and she allegedly slapped this hunk who had started belching endlessly as he ate the dinner.
“Never ask for what you can’t finish. Who told you that oil drilling is for men like Indians of Mississippi? You just can’t waste someone’s food like that! I wish snoops were around to expose your amateurish games” the member charged.
The 3rd member also stormed the same room after a tip off but here, things we’re told were superb like the NRM Electoral roadmap!
“I wish all of you (guys) were subjected to joint campaign rallies. There, one would know who can perform and who is merely wasting voters’ time” An inspector quoted the female Member as telling her last meal customer!
In the morning, the talk was on how male members managed to survive.
One of the female legislators from Ankole sarcastically asked her male colleagues how they managed to go through the night.
“We can’t fail. At least we were served. The honorable (names withheld) treated us to a good meal. It had all the spices and indeed she’s endowed in that field of cooking. Oil was flowing well, food was tasty and gravy was normal. Actually, you could think she’s not from the north given the way she prepared the dish. She knows how to handle the mingling stick like the way Basoga mingle their posho . The beans n’ebigenderako were superb” explained an inspector quoting the legislators.
This MP who served food is now a minister and has become the talk of members especially with the way she frequents the Parliament gym allegedly dressed in rather very suggestive attires!
“You wonder what she wants. You pass that gym and you don’t want to go back there if you’re a woman of substance” an inspector among female members said and revealed that some female members through their UWOPA leaders are considering mooting a proposal for the speaker to dictate a particular dress code for ladies while at the gym.
Watch this space!
