SHOCKING SECRETS AS ‘CABINET HOPEFULS’ LOSE PATIENCE; START WEARING THEIR NEW SUITS
Isaac Matenge [not real names] is a staunch NRM supporter and has held various positions in the party including being a member of NEC. This gentleman, just like many others in NRM is scheming for appointment as a minister and indeed, he is pretty sure, he will make it to the prestigious list!
While everything according to him has been getting on well in the recent past, the actions in the corridors of power seem to be making him and his colleagues-in-waiting becoming impatient!
To prove how sure he is, he recently went to Nairobi to buy the most expensive suits in the East African region after news leaked that the head of state was to announce the cabinet changes sometime in July this year! Not only did he buy suits, but also a new phone, shoes, wrist watch, next tie and oh, yes, changed both his salon haircut [shaurin] and places of eating!
“You know, there are rules of the rich. We have eaten like peasants for so long, now its time to eat like kings and queens. I have since changed my eating places from these normal restaurants to bigger hotels because this is what I was advised to do to avoid eventualities” explained an inspector quoting the man from Eastern Uganda as telling his pals!
According to what we gathered, the ‘minister’ recently mortgaged part of his vast properties for a serious loan to invest in himself and his family so as to receive the news of cabinet appointment when they really deserve!
“If he has not eaten from Serena, he will go to Imperial Royale or other big hotels. He also regularly goes to Café Javas for ice cream and ebigenderako. He is a classy man these days with a lot of pomp in his lifestyle as he awaits the good news from Plot 1” says an inspector.
We are told this gentleman recently convened a meeting of his close family members and broke the news to them that the president was really going to appoint him.
“You know, I am soon getting to a very big position of responsibility. You may not see me regularly interacting with you. I may not even have time to talk to all of you like we are now. I will be having guards around me all the time and my schedule of work will be demanding than now. So, I have called you here to prepare your mind for that” an inspector who attended that meeting quoted him as telling the entire family which included his entire fleet of ‘speaking projects’!
In fact, some of the family members allegedly asked him to take their CVs along with him so that they can work with him either as secretaries or other staff, a request he allegedly granted. Himself to improve on his personal administration; allegedly started by improving on his transport fleet. Initially, he used to cruise an old car but with a serious loan from the money lenders, he recently acquired a brand new machine in UBN series. All this was done upon getting intel that Mzee was going to announce the changes in July.
“The month of July was like heaven was falling soon. He went on a shopping spree and everything appeared very abnormal. He could bring four chickens a day for us to eat because he was following the rules of the rich. He could brag that ministers eat only fresh fruits not leftovers” explained an inspector.
However, we are told a month after the purported deadline expired, the ‘minister’ has lost his patience and has started wearing all his ‘ministerial suits’ out of disgust.
“Can you imagine I bought these items because I was expecting the position in July? Now, the suits are getting old and this means I must spend again to buy new ones. Even this car I bought was in UBN series but now, UBP has come! For how long should we wait really?” an inspector overheard him ranting in one of the supermarkets along Dewinton road in Kampala.
We are told the cabinet hopefuls usually hangout along Dewinton road and from here, they summon their contacts who usually emerge from National Theatre areas to come and brief them on the goingson in the corridors of power. However, just on Monday this week, one of the hopefuls got news that the reshuffle may wait until sometime in 2024, forcing him to lose his cool and started wearing the suits!
It should be recalled that in 2016, Gen. Museveni summoned a meeting at state house involving politicians from Teso sub-region. The meeting was ignited by the fact that some of the area MPs who had missed out on the prestigious list had ganged up against the reappointment of Jaff Akiror Egunyu to cabinet even after she had lost her MP seat. Museveni had appointed her as State minister for Teso affairs, something which didn’t go down well with the likes of Monica Amoding, Jaclyn Amongin and others. While in state house, Museveni explained to the members on the criteria he follows to appoint ministers including one’s personal merit and historical contribution. But somehow, a member shot up and accused one of the appointees Musa Francis Ecweru of having influenced her alleged ‘rejection’. Ecweru behaved exactly like a snake aiming at a fat rat and spat venom and in the process revealing some secrets to the president!
“Mr. President, my honorable colleague and her followers are indeed right to complain. They are very right. You don’t know how getting to your list very difficult sir is. It is very difficult Mzee because people must pay heavily. Oh, you have got smart boys around Kampala! They sit in Wandegeya and start making calls to these members to bring their CVs and the rest. It is even worse for the female colleagues. They not only lose money, but even other things! Oh, I tell you, its terrible. They lose a lot. So, my member here is right to feel sad” Ecweru was quoted as assuring Museveni who burst into loud laughter occasionally wiping his watery eyes!
So hot the meeting was, that minister Ruth Nankabirwa chipped in and told the president that she had severally warned MPs against bribing their way to cabinet. Some of them fall victims of smart boys in town. None the less, Museveni didn’t change his cabinet list apart from laughing at the revelation by Hon. Musa Ecweru. Interestingly, other hopefuls say they won’t stop working with these boys as they are the ones who know the ‘intricate corridors to power’! watch this space for the names of hopefuls as Jjajja Museveni continues to vet his list!